


Break Free

by shines97



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain America: The Winter Soldier, M/M, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 15:57:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1610921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shines97/pseuds/shines97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meta by <a href="http://downeyjr.tk/">Rally</a>. Bucky's subconscious is being held captive by the Winter Soldier and tries to break free. Steve unknowingly helps him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Break Free

**Author's Note:**

> i seriously wouldn't know what to do without [rally](http://downeyjr.tk) \- she gives me the best ideas and is so unbeliably amazing. thanks so much sweetheart! ♥

_The ropes cut into Bucky's wrists and ankles painfully. His hands had gone numb but he had given up trying to shift in the chair he was tied to a long time ago. His lips were dry and chapped and every time he swallowed, the gag tore at the corners of his mouth. He had become used to the taste of blood._

_Bucky had no idea how long he'd been in this room. Days? Months? Years? Maybe even centuries. He just didn't know. He had tried to count the beats of his heart at first but soon stopped. He kept miscounting._

_He hated this room. He would have given anything to be kept prisoner in a dark cell, he would have even preferred a cold, damp cave. Instead, he was tied up to a hard steel chair, the edges cutting into the backs of his thighs and his shoulderblades, in the middle of an enormous white room. The ceiling loomed low over his head and seemed to glow from within. There were no lights, no lamps, nothing. Bucky didn't know how big the room was exactly but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't make out the walls - if there were any. It was pure, white space. Completely empty._

_Empty, except for the other man. He was about Bucky's size, he even had the same physique, but apart from that he looked nothing like Bucky. His hair was around shoulder-length and mussed while Bucky's was short. He was clad all in black, with a mask on his face and goggles to hide his eyes. Bucky still wore the same dark blue coat he had worn when he'd gone on his last mission with Steve, the day he fell off the train and was sure he was going to die. To his surprise, he woke up in this room, alive. No broken bones, no pain, not even a scratch._

_The feature that set the other man apart from Bucky the most was his left arm, though, which seemed to be made of some sort of metal. Bucky hated it. Every time he looked at it, he wanted to scream at him to take it off, just take it off,_ please _! He couldn't look at the star on his left shoulder. It reminded him too much of Steve._

_Every once in a while Bucky would experience a sudden burst of  emotion and strength and he would tear at his ropes, only to have them dig deeper into his flesh just a few minutes later. Those were the times he was almost certain he knew the other man, the one who kept pacing around him, keeping a close eye on him to make sure Bucky stayed where he was. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but he seemed familiar. In the beginning he'd asked him who he was, tried to coax an answer out of him but the only response he ever got was a hit in the head with the grip of his gun. He'd gagged him soon after._

There,  _he thought suddenly,_ there it was again.  _Something scratched at the back of his brain, a memory begging to be remembered. Bucky closed his eyes, racking his brains. His breath was coming uneven, his heart started hammering in his chest and he could feel his palms beginning to sweat. There was_ something  _he needed to remember, he was sure._

 _Bucky's head shot up, his ears ringing like a gun had been fired right next to him, but there was no sound besides his own breathing._   _He could have sworn somebody had said his name._

~*~

The Winter Soldier was used to fighting on autopilot, his moves mechanical and precise, every swing of his arm a hit. This mission was different, though. When he had seen his target for the first time, he had expected an intense fight and a worthy adversary but he had turned out to be stronger than expected. A lot stronger.

The blonde man turned around unexpectedly, throwing the Soldier off his feet, and grabbed his shield. The Winter Soldier's left arm drew back to come crashing down against its indestructible metal, recalibrating as he did so to put as much force as possible into this punch. His target's back slammed into the side of a nearby van, knocking the breath out of him shortly but not long enough for the Winter Soldier to land his next blow. Instead, he pushed back with just as much force, throwing him over his shoulder and onto the asphalt, the impact knocking the mask off his face. He got up on his feet again, anger bubbling up inside him. This mission was more troublesome than he would have liked. Something felt wrong about trying to kill this man and he just wanted to get it over with but his target was putting up quite a fight.

The Soldier turned around slowly, flexing the fingers of his left arm, getting ready for another round. The smell of fire and debris and the adrenaline in his veins helped him focus on a new strategy, some way of catching his target off guard to finish off the job but he lost that train of thought when he saw the other man staring at him with an expression of horror and ... recognition.

"Bucky?"

The Winter Soldier's brain roared. There was something about that name that sounded oddly familiar and strange at the same time and he could feel something stirring inside him at the sound of it, trying to get out. His target looked at the Soldier as if he knew him. _Bucky_. He had called him Bucky. But ...

"Who the hell is Bucky?"

~*~

_The other man had been staring at him when two hands had appeared from out of nowhere to ungag him. Bucky had turned around so quickly he had been afraid he'd snap his neck but there had been nobody behind him anymore. Whoever had been there had disappeared as fast as they'd appeared._

_When he turned to face the other man again, he felt like he was about to throw up. The goggles and mask had come off his face and the other man was staring at him with a dead, cold gaze._

_Bucky was looking at himself._

_"What is this?" he wanted to scream but his voice was no more than a whisper. He could feel sweat trickling down his temples._

_The response he got from the other man was the same as always. Bucky's neck snapped around when the grip of the gun hit him on the side of his face, blood mixing with sweat and running down his neck. He was prepared for what was about to come next and rolled his wrists one last time before the ropes would tighten once more, cutting deeper into his flesh than before. But nothing happened._

_The other man looked at him, his stare turning from cold to furious. Bucky felt stronger than he had in what felt like decades._

~*~

"The man on the bridge," The Winter Soldier started, surrounded by scientists and beeping instruments. "Who was he?"

He heard them answering but nobody gave him a satisfying answer. He furrowed his brows, lost in thought, trying to remember - what? He didn't even know what he'd forgotten in the first place.

"But I knew him," he simply said, more to himself than anybody else.

He was pushed against the back of the seat and somebody shoved a gum shield into his mouth.  _Just make it stop_ , he thought, getting ready for the pain and the feeling of lostness.

The machine closed around his head and the pain came. But for the first time, the Soldier was not lost.

His mission was not complete yet, though the thought of killing his target made him feel uneasy. There had been something so familiar about the way he had said that name - his name? - something that made him doubt himself and his actions. Doubt was a new feeling for the Winter Soldier. So far he didn't like it too much.

However, a few days later, he found himself standing on a narrow bridge in one of Project Insight's hovercrafts, blocking the blonde man's way.

 _I know your name,_ he thought suddenly.  _I know your name but I can't remember._

The Soldier tried to shut down his thoughts. They were distracting him from his mission.

 _Stop him,_ they had told him.  _Kill him._ But somehow that simple order seemed like too much for him now. His brain was overflowing with doubts, questioning every single one of his moves and the noise in his head was driving him insane. He remained calm and focused on the outside, though, forcing his body to act and react, to fight.

And he fought.

There was something about this fight that felt wrong. Every time the Soldier landed a punch, his brain yelled at him to stop. Try as he might, he couldn't seem to shut it out or make it stop and the constant shouting in his head made him furious. This fight was hurried, his blows sloppy and easy to block even though his metal arm did its best to recalibrate every other second, trying hard to turn things around and let him gain the upper hand again.

"Your name is James Buchanan Barnes-" the blonde man shouted at him. His brain was on fire, thoughts racing around in his head. The noise was unbearable.

"Shut up!" he cut him off. Whether he shouted this at his target or at himself, he didn't know.

The Soldier charged at the man, crashing into him with as much strength as he could muster up. The fight seemed to escalate. The Soldier's blows were getting less and less coordinated, fury and confusion consuming him.

"You're my friend."

The Winter Soldier couldn't hear his thoughts anymore, they were jumbled up and so loud, creating the most insufferable white noise. He tried to remember something,  _anything,_ but the only thing he remembered was the one thing he wanted to forget.

"You're my _mission!_ "

He drew back his arm and hit the blonde man square in the face, his blood already starting to paint his face all different shades of red.

"Then finish it," he croaked out. His voice was steady, his eyes calm and his body fully relaxed. His target dropped his arms to his sides and looked up at his attacker. "'Cause I'm with you til the end of the line."

~*~

_"GET THE HELL OUT!"_

_Bucky was furious. He remembered. He remembered what they'd done to him, what_ he  _had done to others, what he'd been doing to_ Steve _. All his strength was coming back and he tore at his ropes until the ones around his ankles ripped apart. His wrists were bloody and hurt but still he didn't stop trying to break free._

I'm with you til the end of the line.

_He'd heard it, clear as day. He'd heard Steve's voice. Bucky screamed, no words coming out of his mouth, just a sound of complete despair and anger._

_The hands were there again, he could feel them. They tugged at the ropes around his wrist and within a second, he was free. Bucky didn't bother to turn around this time, all he could think of was getting the stranger out of here._

_He was staring at himself, the other man, the stranger. This time, when he raised his arm, gun in hand, Bucky reacted. He disarmed the other man in a heartbeat and closed his right hand around his throat, shoving him up into the air and slamming him back onto the ground. Bucky looked down at himself and raised his gun._

_"I told you," he said calmly, "to get. The hell. Out."_

_He emptied the magazine._

_The hands were there again, taking the gun out of his grip. His arms had been so steady just a second before but now he was shaking, all his lost memories trying to force their way back into his mind. Bucky gripped his head and sank onto his knees, screaming in agony._

_"It's okay," he heard from behind him but he couldn't bring himself to turn around or look back. Every inch of his body hurt and he doubled over, pressing his forehead against the cool, white floor. He felt the steps of a man walking around him but still, he couldn't move. The hands gripped his shoulders gently and pulled him up._

_"Hey," they said, "it's okay."_

_Bucky opened his eyes and smiled at the man in front of him, the pain shortly forgotten, relief washing over him._

_"Steve."_

~*~

Bucky dragged Steve out of the water. He didn't check to see if he was alive. He knew he was. He didn't wait until he woke up, either. He wasn't sure what he would say or how Steve would react. All this not knowing, it didn't use to bother him in the slightest. But that was when he was still the Winter Soldier. Now?

 _I need new clothes,_ he thought.  _And then I need to visit the Smithsonian._


End file.
